Only Time
by aurora-australis
Summary: I'm not telling you how he got there. I'm not telling you why he's there. I'm not telling you if he's going to get home. All I'm telling you is that Xander is.....somewhere else....


A/N: Okay, I have to say it, I have to prepare you: This is my very very very first fanfic. Thes is the first one I've ever written and I'm putting it here so I can get an idea whether I should bother doing any more. This requires feedback. I don't know much about the whole fanfic thing, I know nobody else who writes it....I'm very much alone...do I sound tragic enough? Don't you feel sorry for me? Don't you want to help me now??? hehe...

A/N 2: This is part one of a planned series. It shall become this series if I get good feedback. I shall cry myself to sleep every night and never write again if I do not. The planned second chapter has the working title of 'City of Refuge'. 

A/N 3: I own nothing except my soul. If that, in fact, exists. Done too much philosophy and feel the compulsion to question everything. Does my class exist? Nothing exists...I don't need to go to class then..... So, anyway....Xander and BtVS belong to Joss an' co....Time Jesum Transeuntum belongs to Nick Cave...and, right, 'means thoughts', oh yeah, ONE more thing: the title...Only Time....has two meanings; the obvious one and the one that incorporates Latin....Time means fear in Latin...Only Fear......enjoy. 

p.s. am Australian...hence spelling might be a bit different.

ONLY TIME

//Time Jesum Transeuntum Et Non Revertentum

We were called to the forest and we went down

A wind blew warm and eloquent

We were searching for the secrets of the universe

And we rounded up demons

And forced them to tell us what it all meant

We tied them to trees and broke them down one by one

On a scrap of paper they wrote these words

And as we read them the sun broke through the trees 

'Dread the passage of Jesus for He will not return'//

Chapter One. Just Breathe.

The sky was red. 

'Why is the sky red?.....why is there any sky at all? I'm supposed to be inside.....what kind of whacky hellmouthy crap is this?'

Xander sat up.

'Why was I lying down? I was standing up last I checked...'

Xander stood up and looked around. Red sky.....orangy sun.......and he was in some kind of canyon. Strange, dark rocks strewn everywhere, and a not so nice looking large, bird-like creature making its way towards him.

'There's a time for inner-monologue and there's a time for leaving. This is a time for leaving.'

And he did just that. Well, it could only barely be called leaving, since it mainly featured running around frantically looking for a way out. Finally seeing what appeared to be a path cutting its way up the side of the rock, Xander scrambled out of the dark canyon. 

Once he reached the top, and level ground, instead of stopping and getting anything resembling even pretend bearings, he just kept on running. By this point the whole inner-monologue thing had merely turned into what sounded like one long terrified scream rattling around inside his head. 

So he ran. 

He ran past trees and plants he wouldn't recognise even if he noticed them.

He splashed through puddles of murky yellow water that stung his legs.

He fell sometimes onto the black ground and had to pick himself up quickly before the very fact that the ground was black reminded him that something was very wrong.

Unfortunately, even when inspired by sheer terror, the body isn't capable of running full speed forever. So finally, deciding that its brain was temporarily absent and it would have to take charge of itself, Xander's body collapsed.

And his mind just kept on screaming.

It was an hour later, and Xander felt ashamed of himself. Here he was, a veritable Hellmouth veteran, and he was panicking at finding himself in a rather normal Hellmouth situation. Just because he had no idea where he was, or how to get back... or if he could go back, and he knew that people _did_ die on the Hellmouth, and he had no special powers..... 

'Okay, you're panicking again Xander. You just need to breathe in, breathe out, then look for other people. Things grow here, there are animals, of sorts. Maybe there are humans or.....things _like_ humans....'

Following his own advice, Xander continued down what appeared to be a track. It disappeared every now, covered by dying grass or dark, fallen leaves, but picked up again before too long. Xander only hoped he was following the same track and not going round in circles. Where as when he first emerged from the canyon the surrounding landscape had been barren and rocky, he was now finding his way through a very scrubby excuse for a forest. Trees, left and right, stunted and blackened, with the occasional greyish tree towering overhead at disturbing heights. There was little to tell if Xander was indeed walking through the same place over and over again, and by the time the orange sun set, sending purple streaks across the red sky and Xander hadn't found his way out of the forest, he was fairly certain he never would.

As darkness eventually fell in all its terrifying entirety, Xander collapsed against the strong support of the trunk of what would have to be the largest tree he'd ever seen. Even more disconcerting than its abnormal height was the fact that, whilst a normal kind of grey in the light of day, at night these veritable monoliths glowed an eerie blue. However, this strange fact was not what was uppermost in Xander's mind as he sprawled, hungry, tired and miserable.

'Soooo.......I'm in another dimension I guess. Dunno how it happened.....dunno what to do. I sound drunk in my head. That's funny.'

Xander rolled his eyes at himself.

'No it isn't. You're dehydrated, hungry, and alone in a seemingly unpopulated dimension with trees that friggin' glow! Excuse me if I don't see the humour.'

'Great, now I'm holding a conversation in my head. Perfect.'

'I don't see what's wrong with that.'

'Yeah, well, that's your problem. you think everything's fine. You're going insane, hey, that's not a problem..'

'Why don't you shut up!?!'

'Make me!'

Xander hit his head against the tree in pure frustration.

"I wish you'd both shut up..." he mumbled aloud, before finding himself drifting unconscious. His last thought was that hitting his head in such a weak state probably wasn't the smartest thing he'd ever done.

*********************

The moon was almost directly overhead. It reminded Xander of the colour the moon at home was when it was low on the horizon following a particularly dramatic sunset. He'd been laying there for over an hour, staring at the sky, the strange, faintly yellow stars in all their foreign patterns, and the full, gigantic moon. One hand had been fiddling with a smooth piece of black rock, and Xander found this action kept his mind calm as he tried to figure out what to do next. 

'Only one thing to do. Make a decision, Alexander. Either get up and face the unknown, or lay here and die. Think Tim Robbins, think Shawshank Redemption - either get busy living, or get busy dying....' 

The pop-culture reference served to reassure himself that he was still himself, still the person who had survived every disaster and apocalypse a mouth to Hell had sent his way. Even by himself, on the very odd occasion. 

'And maybe I'm right. Maybe this, even worse than a Hellmouth, is a Hell dimension itself......I can't do worse than try....and get UP!'

So he did. He hauled himself to his feet, and set out at a stuttering pace, following the anticipated path of the moon, hoping it would lead him somewhere.

***************

Not surprisingly, the moon had long since overtaken him. In fact, it was hovering above the horizon as if considering the pros and cons of continuing on its journey and leaving Xander in the dark. Not that is wasn't already much too dark for Xander's liking. He had been walking non-stop for hours and still hadn't emerged from the forest. He knew this time that he wasn't walking in circles, and had long since given up any genuine belief that he'd ever find another human, or humanoid, or even a reasonable demon. Hell, he'd even settle for that damn freaky bird again. But still, he was stubborn. After making the resolution under the tree to try until his last breathe, Xander hadn't wavered in his course of action. However scared, tired or hopeless he got, he decided it was by far better to die on your feet that live on your knees. Or something very much like that.

So it was a dirty, exhausted, grim looking young man the sun found as it rose above the horizon. And it was a man who had over-night developed a stronger faith in himself and a weaker one in the order of things, that finally emerged from the scrub, onto the beginnings of acres of muddy fields. And it was one that, whilst lost, had no intention of waiting to be found, whose tired eyes squinted to see across the fields and saw _it_.

It was a building

It was a town. 


End file.
